What a Life
by Sailor Memory
Summary: A short fic based on what Serena was thinking over the the times she met up with Darien, the hunk-a-saurious. Did she really hat him as she seemed to, or was there something else behind the anger of the Meatball Head?


Venusian Letters  
  
Author: Sailor Memory  
  
Summary: Letters written from a woman with the light of love in her heart to a man with ferocious loyalty in his.  
  
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all related characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animation Co.  
  
I do not own them. I just borrowed them to play with. No infringement intended.  
  
Note: This has been submitted to Generals Love Archive under one of my other names, Lady Anikka.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
~1998  
  
I've remembered. I remember the Moon. Kunzite, I remember you.  
  
The Princess, after much pestering on our part, finally gave us our memories back. I remember the emotions that flew through me.  
  
...Happiness. I remember my grandmother, the Queen of Venus, and how she raised me after the death of my parents...  
  
...Pride. I remember how proud I felt after I was chosen to lead the Inner Guard by Queen Serenity. Grandmother, once a warrior herself, could barely contain herself when she heard...  
  
...Contentment. On the Moon, the other members of the Inner Guard, Princess Serenity, and I all became fast friends. Serenity and I became especially close, as I had to *become* her when the situation called for it...  
  
...Frustration. Serenity had to fall in love with the one man she could not have: the Prince of Earth. She would sneak away from us just to see him. Of course, *I* was the one who had to go after her...  
  
...Confusion. I didn't know what was happening to me when I looked into the clear eyes of the Prince's head guard...  
  
...Passion. Despite all the training I had received from my grandmother and Queen Serenity, my feelings were overtaking me. All because of two hands that could arouse any emotion...  
  
...Love. After much fighting, my heart finally surrendered to a young man from Earth...  
  
...Betrayal. The one man who actually managed to steal my heart away had joined a growing evil...  
  
...Pain. His eyes. Once so kind, teasing, and calm, now they were cutting, cruel, and wild. They did not change as our swords clanged together...  
  
When the onslaught finally ended, I opened my wet eyes and found Ami and Makoto sobbing, and Rei staring at the fire, looking ever so lost.  
  
The Princess, with the help of the Prince, managed to calm us down. Now, I sit at home writing this.  
  
All those emotions. I felt so many back then. Now I'm feeling something new.  
  
Guilt. Why didn't I see the change in you? I had been trained to see anything that could be a threat. Was it merely because I only let myself see what my heart wanted?  
  
Why? Why couldn't I save you Kunzite?  
  
  
  
~1999  
  
  
  
I reread that letter I wrote and marvel at the despair in it. It seems that a part of me still suffers for it.  
  
I still miss you Kunzite. Last night, I dreamed that I was in the old meadow with you. We were lying against the sunken tree and I was nestled in your arms. All I felt was contentment.  
  
Then the meadow grew cold and I felt you be ripped away from me. I screamed for you, but the only response was mocking laughter. It was then that I woke up shrieking.  
  
Artemis stood beside me, demanding to know what was wrong. I merely choked back a sob and shook my head. He seemed to understand that I didn't wish to speak of it, and thus jumped into my arms and began to purr loudly to calm me down.  
  
How long I sat there and held him close, I do not know. The next thing I know, it's morning and time for school. Artemis never spoke of the dream, but I know he was curious.  
  
But I never told him. These dreams, the good and the bad, are for me and me alone.  
  
I think Serenity knows about the dreams, though. The day after I had the dream of us in the meadow, she kept looking at me with such knowledge and understanding. She knows and understands what it is like to have nightmares about the one you love being taken from you. The Gods know she's had them often enough.  
  
I still wish I had noticed the changes in you. Maybe then, all of the pain and bloodshed could have been avoided...  
  
  
  
  
  
2000...  
  
This is becoming a tradition for me. Every year, on the same day, I find myself sitting down and writing a letter to you. A letter that I know, somehow, you are reading.  
  
It has only been a year and so much has changed.  
  
Serenity and Endymion married on Christmas Day last year. It has been four months since then and they're still deliriously happy about it. With all the time they spend together, they'll probably be expecting a child soon enough!  
  
Still, none of us begrudge them of this. After all, this should have happened long ago, when Queen Serenity was around to see it...  
  
Well, anyway...  
  
Rei is now a full-fledged priestess at her grandpa's shrine. He's getting older and can't do as much as he used to, but he still manages to be out and about every time we come for a visit. He delights in teasing us to death. In her spare time, she sings and writes songs for some local music company. If Jadeite were here, I think the two of them would sing a duet.  
  
Ami is now taking classes by mail from Harvard University. She hasn't the heart to leave Tokyo, her friends, and family, behind. Of course, doing it by mail leaves her plenty of time to have fun with her friends. Ami let her hair grow. It's gorgeous and gets her plenty of attention. The men that see her are starting to become star-struck. I think Zoisite would be quite jealous if he knew about this.  
  
Makoto, I think, lost something when she recovered her memories. Or perhaps, she gained something. I guess it depends on how you look at it. After that happened, she stopped chasing every boy in sight. Now she merely looks about quietly. If I'm thinking correctly, she might be trying to find Nephrite in all those men that glance her way.  
  
She now has her own baker's shop and is becoming quite famous. She opened the shop right here and Juuban where a lot of people knew of her cooking and business was booming by the end of the first month. If Nephrite were here, he'd be delighted with it. He always loved her cooking.  
  
There are no longer any Inner Senshi and Outer Senshi. Now, we are merely the Sailor Senshi. We are one. The division that worried Earth so long ago is finally gone. And the merge has certainly changed them.  
  
Michiru and Haruka certainly changed. They are still as protective of the Prince and Princess as ever, but they no longer go to the extremes. I think the business with the Sailor Starlights taught them a lesson.  
  
Hotaru is such a joy to see. Now at the age of sixteen, she has started to grow at a normal rate, and thus able to go to school. She has made several friends at Juuban High School, including little siblings of the Senshi's friends. It seemed rather ironic to me. Along with that, she goes from one boyfriend to another, leaving a trail of broken hearts.  
  
I remember when I used to do that...  
  
Setsuna now visits us often from the Gate. No longer does she just come out of nowhere when there is some crisis. Though she must guard time, she is now letting her barriers down enough to let the Princess truly work her magic on her. Now she is like a surrogate mother to us all.  
  
Things seem so peaceful now, but you and I both know that as long as the Prince and Princess are not on their thrones, there will always be a danger...  
  
  
  
  
  
2001  
  
  
  
  
  
Another year has passed. Time is starting to fly faster, Kunzite. And there is something in the air. Something like... anticipation. Something is coming.  
  
Surprisingly, I don't think it's something evil or dangerous. More like... relieving.  
  
The Prince and Princess are parents. They have a daughter. A beautiful girl with pink hair and gentle rose-colored eyes. They named her Serenity Usagi Selene Chiba, but we all call her Chibi-Usa. The Senshi all went absolutely crazy when she came.  
  
We knew she'd come someday, and now that she's finally here. It gives us such hope. Hope that the future we glimpsed could finally happen.  
  
Perhaps that is what I am feeling. A new beginning. A new Silver Millennium.  
  
I only hope that this new one will not end like the last one.  
  
Listen to me! I am sounding so depressing. Perhaps your seriousness did rub off on me.  
  
Happiness is all around me. The Princess and Prince delight in their daughter, Haruka and Michiru are happy and content with one another, and Hotaru has a boyfriend for almost four months now. A new record for her.  
  
However, I still feel the void where you used to be. I can remember how all I had to do was concentrate on that place and you filled my senses, almost driving me mad from wanting you there with me.  
  
Now, I have but to concentrate on that void and the loneliness threatens to engulf me. With the future coming up quick, I have to wonder what it will hold for those who do not have a soul mate to keep them company...  
  
  
  
3001  
  
  
  
A thousand years. Gone by in a blink of an eye.  
  
The Senshi knew that it was coming, of course. I think the birth of Chibi- Usa made us truly aware of it. With her here, then the ecological disasters that we had been told of couldn't be far behind.  
  
We were right.  
  
A mere two months after I had written to you, things started to go bad. Forest fires sprang up all over the rain forests; there was the attack on the United States by terrorists, just... everything. It all came crashing down on us.  
  
The Senshi, minus Pluto of course, all gathered at the home of Endymion, Serenity, and Small Lady, as we have come to call Chibi-Usa. When we entered the place, we knew in our hearts that we would not leave it for a long time.  
  
And now we are here.  
  
Welcome to Crystal Tokyo, Kunzite. Welcome to the Crystal Millennium. Peace, something that Serenity has wished for all her life has finally come.  
  
  
  
3002  
  
  
  
I stare out my balcony window as I write this. The moon seems especially bright and full tonight. Perhaps it is rejoicing. Of course, it has good cause.  
  
Small Lady is now, well, either three or one thousand and three. It depends on how you look at it. She grows more and more like Serenity everyday. She'll make a good queen one-day. Small Lady has inherited her father's instincts and her mother's infinite compassion. A perfect combination.  
  
Was it only two weeks ago? Two weeks ago that everything came together? It seems longer, and yet, shorter at the same time.  
  
It took its toll on all of us. We're all exhausted from it, and exhilarated at the same time. The group of the Silver Millennium is finally, after nearly two thousand years, is complete.  
  
I glance over at my bed and I see you lying in it. The guards dragged you, along with the other three, in. Serenity and Endymion were called to deal with you. And right in the middle of Small Lady's party no less. No one was very happy when it happened.  
  
Then we spotted you and the others. Rei and Ami became so pale that I thought they were going to faint. Makoto grabbed onto a pillar to keep herself from falling. Serenity covered her mouth to fight back a shriek, and Endymion just sort of froze up. Small Lady, who had no idea who you were, just glared at you for interrupting her birthday party.  
  
As for myself, I couldn't help it. I fainted dead away.  
  
Later, Ami told me that my fainting brought everyone out of their states and got them moving. The guards tightened their holds on you, while Serenity shouted for servants to help Ami get me to the infirmary. Once they were off, Endymion commanded that you men be given rooms and that you'd be questioned later.  
  
We never did find out how you were brought back. I think that Pluto had a hand in it, but she would never admit to such a thing, of course.  
  
With no alternative, we just accepted it.  
  
But that wasn't the end of it. You started to avoid me. You began to eat your meals at different times so you wouldn't be sitting at the same table as myself.  
  
It went on for five days, and I'd had enough. I'd waited for you for over a millennium, and like hell I was going to put up with this. So I confronted you.  
  
It was in the training room. Makoto, who knew I was having trouble with you, let me know about of your whereabouts. I tried to thank her, but she merely told me to find happiness like she had with Nephrite.  
  
I entered and found you fighting a mock battle with a holo-opponent. When you took no notice of me after almost ten minutes, I deactivated it.  
  
You were not happy that I'd done such a thing. With a cold gaze that I remember so well, you demanded that I turn it back on. I refused to until we had spoken.  
  
The two of us argued until finally you stormed over to do it yourself. I merely tripped you up and held you fast to the floor.  
  
Our eyes locked and suddenly time seemed to fall away. It felt as though we were back on the Moon, fighting each other in the training room there. Your eyes began to darken in such a way that only I knew. I'm sure mine were doing the same. Emotions that were familiar to our hearts and souls rose up in our bodies. I started to lean down…  
  
The sound of someone walking by broke us out of the trance. I informed you that I'd let you up if you agreed to speak with me. You never said a word, just nodded.  
  
We ended up in my office. I sat down behind my desk, which was covered in state papers that had been read or needed reading, and cut to the chase. I wanted to know why you were avoiding me.  
  
You didn't answer at first; you just sat there staring at me with that hard, expressionless face. I asked again and you still refused to answer.  
  
I was left with no choice. I told you that you owed me one after all I'd been though.  
  
That caught you by surprise, I could tell. I had never used such tactics. Well, now you knew that I had changed.  
  
You spilled everything. Guilt weighed your every action, always remembering what you had done to me. How you had been responsible for my death so long ago, how you had been swayed by Beryl, and how you had aided in the destruction of the Silver Millennium.  
  
I stared at you. I had no idea that you'd felt this way. You'd carried such a burden around alone for so long. I stood up and moved around to stand before you.  
  
I do not remember half of what I said, but it worked. When I finished, you stood up and came toe to toe with me. Without warning, your lips descended on mine.  
  
I felt as though I had died and gone to join Queen Serenity. Memories of those lips, stolen moments of passion, a sweet peck on the cheek, or the half-mocking smirk that graced your lips when we debated something or other. It all came back as a result of one action.  
  
You mumbled about wanting to know where my room was and I breathed a reply.  
  
Things progressed from there...  
  
Now, it is almost dawn. I can see the sun beginning to rise. You are beginning to awake. No, you are awake... and you are giving that stare at me. The one that causes me to shiver with excitement.  
  
I will show you these letters. But not now. There are more important things to do now.  
  
After all, we have eternity. We have gone through our trials, and this is our reward.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
What did you think? Let me know!! I live for feedback!!! :) ;)  
  
~Memory 


End file.
